It's Fall Bryant. You would love the past few days, very windy. Blustery, like the Winnie the Pooh Days :)
I sent in a pic to Disney and they published it on their site:
http://memories.disneyparks.disney.go.com/base/showcase/#/detail/12219
So let's see, what else is new? I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. A billion times would not suffice! Anyway, things have been hectic crazy. You would be somewhat proud of me I guess ~ I am going to SAC meetings still, trying to advocate for kids who need help! Giving you a voice still. Always my inspiration. I miss so much holding you and laughing with you and playing and just being with you. I have tried so poorly to explain you to people who don't know you ... it gets exhausting so I just let it be now ... you made your mark and you made your friends and they miss you and love you ~
I had another dream. In it, something was happening and all of a sudden I was like "Oh my God! I am DREAMING!" you were in the dream, of course, and I told you, Bryant! We have to take this time to be together. I am dreaming and you looked at me like "yes, I know" and it was so awesome. I try and focus on that. I had been having nightmares, those seem to come in waves and I hate them. So I am trying to train myself to recognize the dream and control it so I can spend time with you that way :) Sweet dreams.
Still thinking about the book. I really want to write it Bryant, I just need direction. Motivation I have. I know the story would come and I think in writing I could definitely do justice to your life, at least in a way ~ and I think you know that.
I saw Hanna last weekend and have seen Christine last month. We still talk of you and it makes me smile just to hear the stories of your capers with them :) You're famous in those circles you know! Of course, I talk of you quite a bit ~ can't help it, you definitely inspire me. So I am hoping the inspiration will help propel my thoughts, to really sit down and write. Julia is writing a lot and I think she will be able to help me. Emily, of course, is a Writer also, as you know. So maybe between the 3 of us !!!
Liam is still into Star Wars. You would love that. And Toy Story 3 is out. I can't bring myself to buy it. I did see it at the theater but I don't think I can buy it. It really makes me think of you and our Toy Story Days. Good memories, good times, a life time of love.
Miss you so much Bryant ~ sometimes I wonder how the human spirit can take this type of loss and continue on. I have had some strange experiences and I know and feel things that make me understand, like when I need it the most, it comes. That's how you always were in life here ~ always my favorite! Remember I would tell you that? Ha ha. And I would tell you when you'd get mad at me "You HAVE to like me" haha. But you did more than that Bryant. You loved me, you needed me and I needed you far more. The soul of a wise one ~ that is what you possess, your gift. There is a song - and it, with some modifications says what I feel ...
Starry
starry night
paint your palette blue and grey
look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the
darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills
sketch the trees and the daffodils
catch the breeze and the winter chills
in colors on the snowy linen land.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they did not know how
perhaps they'll listen now.
Starry
starry night
flaming flo'rs that brightly blaze
swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in
Bryant's eyes of piercing chestnut brown.
Colors changing hue
morning fields of amber grain
weathered faces lined in pain
are soothed beneath the artist's
loving hand.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
perhaps they'll listen now.
For they could not love you
but still your love was true
and when no hope was left in sight on that starry
starry night.
You left because your time was through
But I could have told you
Bryant,
this world was never
meant for one
as beautiful as you.
Starry
starry night
portraits hung in empty halls
frameless heads on nameless walls
with eyes
that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the stranger that you've met
the ragged men in ragged clothes
the silver thorn of bloddy rose
lie crushed and broken
on the virgin snow.
And now I think I know what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they're not
list'ning still
perhaps they never will.
xo xo ~ Mommy
I hope to be inspired Bryant to write again. That's what I need ~ I am so tired so drained and I know I need to write. I shall make this promise, my next post will be a poem to you =D
